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Thoughts: Moving on from hockey
By now it's obvious (based on my Tumblr) that I'm not into hockey as much as I used to. This is just going to be a jumble of thoughts about it.
Right now
Obviously there's no hockey on right now because sports went away during Covid-19 quarantine. But even in the months leading up to quarantine, there was minimal hockey on my blog. There was just nothing to cheer for. I had written a post about why I didn't feel like cheering for the Toronto Maple Leafs anymore.
Despite not watching any games, I still religious listen to the Steven Dangle Podcast because it is entertainment gold. So I still find out about things that happen, but only as far as the SDP goes to explain. And the show usually catches up listeners on hockey news that is relevant to what they're going to discuss.
I had kind of moved from hockey fandom to soccer fandom around the time of the 2018 World Cup. I find that I still want to stick with soccer. For one, my main team is actually good (Liverpool). But the soccer environment feels a little more inclusive because it literally is the most popular sport in the world. Not everybody is a rich white man, you know? You have people from all sorts of ethnic, religious, and economic backgrounds, and it just makes the entire soccer landscape feel a little more easy to relate to.
Why I got into Hockey
I had done a bit of thinking over the past few months because I had noticed that I wasn't into hockey much anymore.
I got into hockey during the 2014 Winter Olympics. At the time that I started watching, I was struggling between my Chinese and Canadian identities.
For a little background, I'd gone to a high school that had a high proportion of wealthy white students. As one of the few Asian students, I stuck out, especially because I liked listening to Asian music, watching Asian shows, etc. The university that I went to had a huge international student population, including many overseas Chinese students. On campus, I felt like I wanted to show that I wasn't "one of them." In hindsight, it was not a healthy attitude, but I was young and still insecure in my identity as a Chinese-Canadian.
That was one of the reasons I turned to hockey. I felt like by being a hockey fan, I would "become more Canadian." At that age, I wanted acceptance.
On Tumblr, I thought it was very cool every time I bumped into another blogger who was also a Chinese-Canadian or Chinese-American hockey fan. In the long run, there were only two that I followed for a while. But recently, they both have stopped posting much hockey. One is more of a figure skating blog, and the other bit the bullet recently and turned to kpop (which is what prompted me to write this post).
Not that I was personal friends with these people, but it felt like company or validation. I don't know what drew these Chinese-Canadian/Chinese-American bloggers to hockey, but they're not into it now, and that's okay. And I realized it would be okay for me too.
I am older now, and I am far more confident in my Canadian and Chinese sides. But I think seeing the rest of my favourite blogs moving on gave me some of the motivation I needed to just face the facts, that I wasn't interested anymore.
Social Issues
Alright, let's not pretend that hockey is not 99% rich white men. When I first got into hockey, I kind of ignored it. "Race doesn't matter," "hockey is for everyone," "what do you expect living in a Western country," things like that.
But over time, it just got really old. I mean, as I got into soccer and later into Cdramas, I realized that...there is media that is more multicultural. There is media that is easier to relate to even if it doesn't come from even the same continent as me.
We've heard about the racist incidents in hockey stretching years back, but nothing was ever done. There were still only a handful of non-white hockey players in the NHL. 99.9% of management on NHL teams are still white men. Maybe they are the most successful at their jobs, but it gets discouraging.
Now, with BLM and racism coming into the spotlight, it looks like there is some movement in the NHL. A diversity committee has been created, athletes are putting out statements of support. But I'll believe that change is happening when I see results. I just got tired of giving the benefit of the doubt.
And now that I've found other media with values that I can back more confidently, it doesn't feel like I need hockey anymore.
Conclusion
I guess hockey was a fandom that was important to me more because it reminded me of what I was trying to be. And letting go of that fandom feels like I've given up on that goal.
But the opposite is true. I'm not really part of this fandom anymore because hockey just doesn't interest me as much as a sport anymore (at least compared to soccer), but also because I'm more confident in being a Canadian now. I don't need hockey anymore to "prove" that I'm a Canadian because I know that I am.
Right now
Obviously there's no hockey on right now because sports went away during Covid-19 quarantine. But even in the months leading up to quarantine, there was minimal hockey on my blog. There was just nothing to cheer for. I had written a post about why I didn't feel like cheering for the Toronto Maple Leafs anymore.
Despite not watching any games, I still religious listen to the Steven Dangle Podcast because it is entertainment gold. So I still find out about things that happen, but only as far as the SDP goes to explain. And the show usually catches up listeners on hockey news that is relevant to what they're going to discuss.
I had kind of moved from hockey fandom to soccer fandom around the time of the 2018 World Cup. I find that I still want to stick with soccer. For one, my main team is actually good (Liverpool). But the soccer environment feels a little more inclusive because it literally is the most popular sport in the world. Not everybody is a rich white man, you know? You have people from all sorts of ethnic, religious, and economic backgrounds, and it just makes the entire soccer landscape feel a little more easy to relate to.
Why I got into Hockey
I had done a bit of thinking over the past few months because I had noticed that I wasn't into hockey much anymore.
I got into hockey during the 2014 Winter Olympics. At the time that I started watching, I was struggling between my Chinese and Canadian identities.
For a little background, I'd gone to a high school that had a high proportion of wealthy white students. As one of the few Asian students, I stuck out, especially because I liked listening to Asian music, watching Asian shows, etc. The university that I went to had a huge international student population, including many overseas Chinese students. On campus, I felt like I wanted to show that I wasn't "one of them." In hindsight, it was not a healthy attitude, but I was young and still insecure in my identity as a Chinese-Canadian.
That was one of the reasons I turned to hockey. I felt like by being a hockey fan, I would "become more Canadian." At that age, I wanted acceptance.
On Tumblr, I thought it was very cool every time I bumped into another blogger who was also a Chinese-Canadian or Chinese-American hockey fan. In the long run, there were only two that I followed for a while. But recently, they both have stopped posting much hockey. One is more of a figure skating blog, and the other bit the bullet recently and turned to kpop (which is what prompted me to write this post).
Not that I was personal friends with these people, but it felt like company or validation. I don't know what drew these Chinese-Canadian/Chinese-American bloggers to hockey, but they're not into it now, and that's okay. And I realized it would be okay for me too.
I am older now, and I am far more confident in my Canadian and Chinese sides. But I think seeing the rest of my favourite blogs moving on gave me some of the motivation I needed to just face the facts, that I wasn't interested anymore.
Social Issues
Alright, let's not pretend that hockey is not 99% rich white men. When I first got into hockey, I kind of ignored it. "Race doesn't matter," "hockey is for everyone," "what do you expect living in a Western country," things like that.
But over time, it just got really old. I mean, as I got into soccer and later into Cdramas, I realized that...there is media that is more multicultural. There is media that is easier to relate to even if it doesn't come from even the same continent as me.
We've heard about the racist incidents in hockey stretching years back, but nothing was ever done. There were still only a handful of non-white hockey players in the NHL. 99.9% of management on NHL teams are still white men. Maybe they are the most successful at their jobs, but it gets discouraging.
Now, with BLM and racism coming into the spotlight, it looks like there is some movement in the NHL. A diversity committee has been created, athletes are putting out statements of support. But I'll believe that change is happening when I see results. I just got tired of giving the benefit of the doubt.
And now that I've found other media with values that I can back more confidently, it doesn't feel like I need hockey anymore.
Conclusion
I guess hockey was a fandom that was important to me more because it reminded me of what I was trying to be. And letting go of that fandom feels like I've given up on that goal.
But the opposite is true. I'm not really part of this fandom anymore because hockey just doesn't interest me as much as a sport anymore (at least compared to soccer), but also because I'm more confident in being a Canadian now. I don't need hockey anymore to "prove" that I'm a Canadian because I know that I am.