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Review: Tell Them You Love Me (2023)
I can see why people found this documentary disturbing. I can also see why people say that this documentary didn’t give us the whole perspective and should have expanded more. But I think this movie did present a narrative of a story that combined a lot of complex and difficult themes. I would recommend this documentary, but of course understanding that some may feel disturbed by the content, and also noting that some may walk away feeling unsatisfied with the extent of the investigation.
Content
This covered the story of Derrick Johnson, a man with cerebral palsy, and Anna Stubblefield, a professor of philosophy who focused on disability and facilitated communication. Through working with Derrick in communicating through a keyboard, she claimed that she and Derrick fell in love and had a physical relationship. When this was revealed, she was arrested and convicted of sexual abuse.
The documentary conducted interviews with Derrick’s mother Daisy and brother John, as well as Anna herself. Records of Derrick’s typing were presented on screen from time to time. I’ve only clicked on a few discussion threads so far but it seems to me people felt that the documentary didn’t really give us the hard hitting answers we wanted. All the interviewees were only asked to tell their own stories and they were hardly challenged on their views. The judge said she found the testimony from Anna’s husband compelling and yet we never got to see others comment on it so that was a missed opportunity. On the other hand, we did have people who believed in Anna, including her own mother, as well as the other professor who felt that Anna was really good at working with disabled folks. So we never really got that good of a look at Anna either.
The reason why this documentary was seen as disturbing was because of the lack of clarity on the truth. Did Derrick have the mental faculties to do all that Anna said he was capable of? If so, it’s disturbing because at the end of the documentary, it’s shown to us that most people have accepted that he does not, in which case he is trapped in his body. If not, then Anna was taking advantage of and abusing Derrick. Either situation is disturbing.
At the end of the documentary, John said that he had to come to terms with accepting that his brother was not capable of the things he thought he was, and that was okay. Daisy said that she accepted her son no matter what way he was. This ordeal was definitely very emotionally gruelling for them. But I wonder if a part of them ever wonders if Derrick had that mental faculty. I’m not saying they’re wrong, I’m just wondering if they ever doubt it. But I think no matter what happens, John and Daisy love Derrick a lot, and at the very least I think Derrick would feel that love from his family.
Production
As I mentioned, I think some people felt that Anna wasn’t challenged enough. There were studies brought up that challenged the effectiveness of facilitated communication. There was the expert (whose name I don’t remember) who had done a study showing that some facilitators were influencing the typing. That expert had also brought Derrick in for testing and determined that Derrick did not have the mental capabilities that Anna said he had, one of the examples being that Derrick still operated in a very physical and functional way and did not interact with the abstract as much. Now, I don’t know what this expert’s qualifications are so that is another thing to keep in mind.
I was actually pretty surprised that we got footage from the trial. Like high quality non-grainy footage. But I guess there was only so much they could use before the documentary would feel draggy. One odd thing though was that when Anna was being sentenced, she walked away smiling at someone in the audience. That struck me as very odd. I thought she would have been more upset. Sorry I didn't know where to put this and I was just reminded of this as I was writing this.
Themes
Disability was definitely the biggest theme here. How do we find a way for people to be able to express themselves, to be able to take control of their lives? Facilitated communication seemed very promising to John Johnson at first. However, we saw that at the time of this trial, it was considered controversial, partially due to the fact that it could very much be influenced by the facilitator. As such, all of the text that Derrick had typed was not admitted as evidence. However, at the end of the movie, it was determined by the courts that they should not have dismissed that evidence. Why? That should have been expanded on because I think that really would have helped people understand facilitated communication even more.
Anna considered herself a big advocate for disability. Her mother worked with disabled people when she was young, and supported Anna’s continued endeavours working with disabled people. I thought it was really odd that Anna used to pretend to be disabled, act blind, play with crutches. Not that curiosity is uncommon among kids, but it didn’t feel like Anna being interested in disability but rather something else. I read a commenter mention that perhaps she wanted attention from her mother who took care of disabled folks. Anyway, in her adulthood, we saw that some people did believe in her and her work. They agreed that maybe Anna was naïve, but they believed that she would never knowingly abuse Derrick. Anna’s relationship with disability is just kind of a big question mark now that I think about it.
The other big topic here was racism. While it was exciting for Derrick to be able to communicate, over time, John and Daisy felt that Anna was beginning to speak on behalf of Derrick. Daisy and John definitely felt like they were being told that they weren’t taking care of Derrick properly, and that it was the responsibility of the White person to come in and educate Derrick properly. So that definitely put them on edge.
Overall
There’s definitely a lot more to talk about for this documentary because as you can see it doesn’t answer all of its own questions. I’m going to be reading up on discussions about it but I don’t want to include them here as I wanted this post to mostly be my own thoughts fresh after watching. But I do think this documentary has raised a lot of questions and discussions particularly because of the intersectionality.
Content
This covered the story of Derrick Johnson, a man with cerebral palsy, and Anna Stubblefield, a professor of philosophy who focused on disability and facilitated communication. Through working with Derrick in communicating through a keyboard, she claimed that she and Derrick fell in love and had a physical relationship. When this was revealed, she was arrested and convicted of sexual abuse.
The documentary conducted interviews with Derrick’s mother Daisy and brother John, as well as Anna herself. Records of Derrick’s typing were presented on screen from time to time. I’ve only clicked on a few discussion threads so far but it seems to me people felt that the documentary didn’t really give us the hard hitting answers we wanted. All the interviewees were only asked to tell their own stories and they were hardly challenged on their views. The judge said she found the testimony from Anna’s husband compelling and yet we never got to see others comment on it so that was a missed opportunity. On the other hand, we did have people who believed in Anna, including her own mother, as well as the other professor who felt that Anna was really good at working with disabled folks. So we never really got that good of a look at Anna either.
The reason why this documentary was seen as disturbing was because of the lack of clarity on the truth. Did Derrick have the mental faculties to do all that Anna said he was capable of? If so, it’s disturbing because at the end of the documentary, it’s shown to us that most people have accepted that he does not, in which case he is trapped in his body. If not, then Anna was taking advantage of and abusing Derrick. Either situation is disturbing.
At the end of the documentary, John said that he had to come to terms with accepting that his brother was not capable of the things he thought he was, and that was okay. Daisy said that she accepted her son no matter what way he was. This ordeal was definitely very emotionally gruelling for them. But I wonder if a part of them ever wonders if Derrick had that mental faculty. I’m not saying they’re wrong, I’m just wondering if they ever doubt it. But I think no matter what happens, John and Daisy love Derrick a lot, and at the very least I think Derrick would feel that love from his family.
Production
As I mentioned, I think some people felt that Anna wasn’t challenged enough. There were studies brought up that challenged the effectiveness of facilitated communication. There was the expert (whose name I don’t remember) who had done a study showing that some facilitators were influencing the typing. That expert had also brought Derrick in for testing and determined that Derrick did not have the mental capabilities that Anna said he had, one of the examples being that Derrick still operated in a very physical and functional way and did not interact with the abstract as much. Now, I don’t know what this expert’s qualifications are so that is another thing to keep in mind.
I was actually pretty surprised that we got footage from the trial. Like high quality non-grainy footage. But I guess there was only so much they could use before the documentary would feel draggy. One odd thing though was that when Anna was being sentenced, she walked away smiling at someone in the audience. That struck me as very odd. I thought she would have been more upset. Sorry I didn't know where to put this and I was just reminded of this as I was writing this.
Themes
Disability was definitely the biggest theme here. How do we find a way for people to be able to express themselves, to be able to take control of their lives? Facilitated communication seemed very promising to John Johnson at first. However, we saw that at the time of this trial, it was considered controversial, partially due to the fact that it could very much be influenced by the facilitator. As such, all of the text that Derrick had typed was not admitted as evidence. However, at the end of the movie, it was determined by the courts that they should not have dismissed that evidence. Why? That should have been expanded on because I think that really would have helped people understand facilitated communication even more.
Anna considered herself a big advocate for disability. Her mother worked with disabled people when she was young, and supported Anna’s continued endeavours working with disabled people. I thought it was really odd that Anna used to pretend to be disabled, act blind, play with crutches. Not that curiosity is uncommon among kids, but it didn’t feel like Anna being interested in disability but rather something else. I read a commenter mention that perhaps she wanted attention from her mother who took care of disabled folks. Anyway, in her adulthood, we saw that some people did believe in her and her work. They agreed that maybe Anna was naïve, but they believed that she would never knowingly abuse Derrick. Anna’s relationship with disability is just kind of a big question mark now that I think about it.
The other big topic here was racism. While it was exciting for Derrick to be able to communicate, over time, John and Daisy felt that Anna was beginning to speak on behalf of Derrick. Daisy and John definitely felt like they were being told that they weren’t taking care of Derrick properly, and that it was the responsibility of the White person to come in and educate Derrick properly. So that definitely put them on edge.
Overall
There’s definitely a lot more to talk about for this documentary because as you can see it doesn’t answer all of its own questions. I’m going to be reading up on discussions about it but I don’t want to include them here as I wanted this post to mostly be my own thoughts fresh after watching. But I do think this documentary has raised a lot of questions and discussions particularly because of the intersectionality.